Friday, March 21, 2014

When I Grow Up I'd Like to Be.....

I am a first time mom. Unfortunately for you readers, this is all I do with my days anymore. As much as I love it, I really didn’t want my blog to go in the direction of a “mommy blog.” There’s just so many of those out there, and the pressure to create something original is a stumbling block of sorts between me and paper. But alas, this is my life. Every extra thought I have is devoted to this little 17lb chuck of rolls and soft skin. The fact of the matter is that I could spend all day with my nose buried in his neck and be perfectly content.

I think that one of the reasons in my “writing block” is that I am nervous to overshare. There are a million things that I would like to say, things that would be so therapeutic to get off my chest, but they don’t make it past my writing journal, or even to a second draft because the subjects scare me.

Reasons I don’t write

1) I am scared of offending people in my life
2) I can’t spell. Too many people have said “You can’t spell? I thought you were a writer.”
3) My husband won’t watch the baby
4) My husband thinks that I can take care of the baby and write at the same time
5) Dinner is waiting to be made
6) The family room needs to be vacuumed.
7) My room needs to be swept. There are piles of dog hair that I need to take care of. And heaven knows my husband won’t do it.
8) I think you all need something interesting to read. I shoudn’t think this, because some of my best writing happens when I mostly just think about the things I need to say.
9) There are a lot of red squiggly lines under words on this page.
10) My computer battery is dying!
11) I actually don’t like a lot of things, and a lot of things (people) annoy me. I’m afraid that if I start really writing all that will come out and I will lose friends.
12) I wish I could ride the bus too and from work again. It would give me time to write in that journal.
13) It seems to always take way too much time.
14) And now the baby is awake.
15) I will write something stupid and people might make fun of me for it, or I will ruin my “online reputation” before I even have one!
16) I absolutely hate the formatting of this blog. I really want to find another venue for my writing.

Things I want to write:
1) That survey proving that postpartum depression is linked to epidurals, inductions, and C-sections.
2) I would love to edit one of the seven novels I wrote in high school. Maybe I should sign up for an advanced history class so that I can focus on my writing. It seems that I did a lot of fantastic fiction writing in AP history.
3) My family history. Just my personal immediate family.
4) Stories about Luke’s life.
5) Stories about how me and Chris met and started dating and got engaged. I am afraid I will forget these stories and I won’t be able to tell my children about them.
6) I would love to write in a journal every night. I never seem to be able to find the time.
7) Something that I could get paid for.

Well, I wrote a whole page! Yay me!
Now it’s back to house work. Maybe I will find the energy to make dinner before I leave for work.