I've just finished reading an article that has me just a bit irate. It's called "Why I can't stop reading Mormon housewife blogs: I'm a young feminist athiest who can't bake a cupcake. Why am I addicted to the shiny, happy lives of these women?" by Emily Matchar
The point of this article is "Oh it looks so nice and they look so happy, but I'm not going to make any effort to be that happy myself."
She even said "Well, to use a word that makes me cringe, these blogs are weirdly "uplifting." Why would that word make anyone cringe. To use a phrase my old girls camp leader would say "What is so bad about being good?" Why is it so wrong or against feminism to be uplifting? Why can't we be blissfully happy and have good marriages and big families and make cupcakes? And here is the bigger question: Why does the world try so hard to reject a philosophy that can help our lives become normal and calm and happy? Is that really so bad? Is the drama and stress of being not happy really worth it?
I really, truly believe that the Mormon church is on to something. It's all about family. Healthy people come from healthy families. It is in the family that Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs is met. We can not attain our potential, or be mentally healthy without basic things. It is in the family that we first feel wanted or unwanted, loved or unloved, safe or unsafe. In the LDS gospel, these things are paramount. We are all loved, we are all wanted. We must show love to others. They have given tools such as family home evenings and church activities and instruction that bring us closer together to help us feel loved and understood. We are taught that "material possessions and honors of the world do not endure. But your union as wife, husband, and family can. The only duration of family life that satisfies the loftiest longings of the human soul is forever. No sacrifice is too great to have the blessings of an eternal marriage. To qualify, one needs only to deny oneself of ungodliness and honor the ordinances of the temple. By making and keeping sacred temple covenants, we evidence our love for God, for our companion, and our real regard for our posterity—even those yet unborn. Our family is the focus of our greatest work and joy in this life."
Matchar says "And if they help women like me envision a life in which marriage and motherhood could potentially be something other than a miserable, soul-destroying trap, I say, "Right on." I won't be inviting the missionaries inside for hot cocoa now or ever, but I don't plan on stopping my blog habit any time soon." Okay, so you're looking at dozens of women who have good marriages, and happy lives and you say "Yeah, looks nice, but I'm gunna stay miserable because I couldn't POSSIBLY listen to the missionaries or give it a chance. My hell hole is nice thanks very much." Is being happy really that bad? Is being an "atheist feminist" really that great? If you are already happy with whatever religion you've got, that is great. But if your not, is it really worth not checking out what the LDS religion has to offer? It's so sad that so many people are so quick to reject it just because a)someone LDS offended me b)Mormons are stupid c)I can't be Mormon because everyone else is Mormon and then I'll just be conforming and we CAN'T have that. If anyone thinks we are conforming it would just be the end of the world! d) It's what my mom wants and doing what mom wants is just as bad as conforming! e)It might ACTUALLY make me happy and I just love my deteriorating marriage and all the miserable drama that is my life way to much and there is no way I could give up coffee to be happy anyway!
OMfreakingG. Get over yourself and your preconceived ideas about it. If you want to be happy and what you have isn't working out for you, I think it's worth checking out. There are no strings attached if you talk to the missionaries once, read some Book of Mormon or check out the web sight. www.moromon.org or www.lds.org. Or you can give me a ring and I'll answer your questions.
"If you understand the great plan of happiness and follow it, what goes on in the world will not determine your happiness."
Because family life can continue beyond the thresholds of death. Because the royal priesthood has been restored upon the earth. And because the Spirit has spoken to my spirit, giving me a testimony that my Savior Jesus Christ lives and that through His intercession I shall be able, in accordance to my faithfulness, to live with Him. For these reasons and others still, I am a member of the only true Church upon the face of the earth, and I shall be eternally grateful for this.